On February 17th, 2004 I started an oral chemotherapy agent called Zeloda. I made the mistake of reading the package insert, looking for possible side effects. What I found in addition to those possible side effects was the data on the clinical trials for the efficacy of the drug when used in metastatic colon cancer. (the drug is crossed over for breast cancer) What leapt off the page, what I saw that is the reason why you do not read package inserts, was the average survival rate of the test subjects on the drug: 444 days. That's 1 year, 2 months, 19 days, in case you're wondering.
What a thing to see. What a time frame to put out of my head. I know that no one knows how many days I have; only God has them numbered. But still the number got filed away somewhere in the back of my head, submerged in the deep recesses. It flickered there every once and a while like a dim light in the back of a cave...444 days.
One early summer evening, I sat in church during a special service. We were in the middle of deep and personal prayer. I heard a whisper from the back of my head saying "count the days".
Count the days????Oh yes, the little memory flickered, and so I pulled out my check book register with the calendar part on it and set to counting.
The days were 527. I was amazed. I was so blessed. God was saying, "you see??"And I was slightly ashamed for ever letting the flickering candle of unbelief reside in the back of my head.
Tomorrow is November 5, 2007 and I will start back on Zeloda again. I will NOT read the package insert because I know those numbers mean nothing where I am concerned. I know that I know that I know that only my Lord, my Savior, Christ the Great Physician knows my numbers.
Just in case you're wondering.....it's been 1,353 days. But who's counting?
"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life"
Deuteronomy 30:19
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