The Fire

There has been a dream of mine (nightmare?) that has stayed with me for well over 15 years. I had this very vivid dream back in the spring of 1993. I have probably dreamt and forgotten thousands and thousands of dreams since then, but this one particular split-second picture formed and forged in the back of my brain oh-so long ago has never left me. I lived months, maybe even years without thinking of or remembering the dream and then, for some reason, it would jump forward into my present-day and stay there for weeks.

The dream consists of only one image. It is an image I am viewing from over my left shoulder, looking back. Looking over my shoulder I see a dark, black hill. The sky is also black, but I can see the hill because the ridge line of the hill is lit all the way across with fire. Not a huge, blazing wildfire, but a slow-moving, relentless brush fire. It is coming down the hill and it is coming for me. I have never dreamt of the fire since, but I have tried to figure out its meaning over the years. The memory of it is still as vivid as the night I dreamt it. I came up with several interpretations, but never really knew of its meaning until May 14, 2001 when I woke up to a surgeon who was saying "we have a problem". It was then that I had a name for the fire, really started fearing the fire, started running from the fire. Over the past 7 years I have walked through it, walked from it, and fled in fear of it, but the fire is still there, every time I glance back over my left shoulder. When Janet once described the progression of the type of breast cancer that was advancing inside me, she called it a "slow-burner". I wanted to say, "You're telling me. I've been watching it burn on that hill back there behind me ever since it showed up."

The fire on the hill finally took its meaning eight years after I dreamt it. If I had only known what the fire meant, I would have been better prepared to snuff it out. But, that's not what happened. The fire crept down the hill while I ignored its possible meaning and it continues to pursue me; out of my dream and into reality.

I was thinking of writing about the fire when I was writing about "The Abduction" last month.
The fire on the hill had come back in my mind and I needed to get it behind me for a little while,
maybe purge it through writing. Then someone wrote to me about a huge revival going on down in Lakeland, Fla. A revival that was supposed to be for two weeks in April and has run non-stop
through today with no signs a being over. Amazing things are happening down there. People are describing the place as being on fire.......the fire of the Holy Spirit....Church on Fire...swept by fire. Suddenly on Sunday, when the pastor's wife was talking about what it was like to be standing in Lakeland, Fla. in the middle of the fire, to witness miracles and wonders and feel the most powerful presence of God......suddenly fire did not seem like such a bad thing. I know God
has used fire throughout time for cleansing and for His purpose. I know, because of Matthew
3:11, that Jesus came to "baptize (me) with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

I had to be reminded. Fire can be good. Fire can do amazing things when it comes down in the name of the Lord. And though the fire on the hill has come after me with a slow, determined pace, it has never caught up to me. I have smelled its smoke on several occasions, but I have never been burned. This morning, as I write about the fire, I am no longer feeling the blackness that used to surround it. Instead of looking over my shoulder, I can turn and face it, knowing it could have a divine meaning instead of a dreaded one. Facing fire.....that's what I've been doing since 2001......only now, it has a new meaning. I do not fear it, and it will never haunt me again.