My heart

Someone sang a worship song for me at church last week. Of course, there were others in the sanctuary, but the song was sung directly for my benefit...the words, oh so appropriate. I am sure most of you know what I am talking about. Where you feel the song had to have been written with you, your circumstances, your situation in mind. The song was a slower, more "love song to God" kind of song. The words that were mine?:

"Though the enemy thinks he can take everything away, my heart is yours God, my heart is yours. You are my strong tower...."

There have been so many times that I have felt that the enemy will never get enough of me. That the running talley on things I have lost will never end. That since Satan cannot defeat my spirit and he will never have my heart, he works so very hard on taking away things from my body, bit by bit, little by little. Some of the things I will get back, some, I will never recover. I now have eyelashes and eye brows, and a covering of very short hair on my head. I have to shave my legs and under my arms and slowly my nails are recovering. But I will never have breasts or nipples, my feet will never be the same, my right hand still has partial feeling, and don't get me started on my knees......or my scars.....or my port. The enemy definitely thinks he has dominion over my physical appearance and he chips away at my facade and messes with my mind every chance he has.

And while Satan may think he is taking away everything from me, he has no idea how strong he is making me. Every time I want to feel sorry for myself, every time the pain tries to push me under, every time some report comes back scary......every time he tries to take.....he pushes me right into the arms of God. I know where my help lies. I know who my healer is. I know who has my heart and who has dominion over every part of me. God owns me. Satan is just a trespasser who showed up in 2001 in the form of cancer. And cancer is the unwanted houseguest who eats all your food, zaps you of your energy, and stays way, way too long. He does not belong here.

He may think he can take everything and, Lord knows he will try. But in the end, he will never win. I will get back all he has taken in one form or another. This I know. This I have been promised, as a daughter of Christ, seed from Abraham. (Galations 3:29) I will be set free from bondage. Freedom is mine to claim, mine to inherit. Even with all Satan has taken, he will not get to keep any of it. Victory is promised to me! Everything I am belongs to the Lord and only He can make me whole again.

"My heart is yours, God. My heart is yours." You bet it is.