Perfection

I had two moments last Thursday when things were just perfect. One of those moments where something happens or something is said and you think: that couldn't have been more perfect.
To have two in one day, well, that's just divine.

The first perfect thing that happened last Thursday was something that was said. I was meeting with Maha. We were discussing the coming months. Months of being on hormonal treatment;
months of rest from chemo, months of just every thirty days getting markers taken and seeing if we can just keep things in check without anything else but hormone pills and Zometa. The coming months of a new type of faith. Faith in a little white pill. Faith in restoring my body,
doing what was once so far out of reach we were grasping at straws. We talked about how stunning it was to be at this point with this opportunity....with these results. We made an appointment date for me way out to June 23 and said "Wow". As things were winding down in the exam room, she told me that she had no doubt that nothing she had done here had made any difference in my outcome of that day, that place, that time. That she and I were meant to walk on this path together, God had put us on this path together and we were walking it side by side,
faith to faith. God has know all along that we would be standing there, on May 1, 2008 looking at a calendar and saying "wow".

Maha is hoping for months of success with my new treatment regimen. I know she is already looking down the path, planning her next steps somewhere out there in my medical future, still trying to figure it all out. She also knew that last Thursday was a little scary for me....to let go of the strong stuff, to come off the drug that had such a huge part in the science of my survival. She also knew that above all the talk of what we might do, what may happen, what hope there still is...she needed to tell me about her faith and the path. It was the perfect thing to say. All fear, doubt, and questions fell by the wayside, for they do not belong on our path. Our path is one laid out by the Perfect One as part of His perfect plan. Just perfect.

The second perfect thing that happened was something somebody did. Even though I did not have to go to the back to get a shot I needed, Rebecca told me I had to go to the treatment room. That was okay anyway, because I got to see Lisa, who inspired me to write my journal entry "This is what you get". She just happened to be there, getting Herceptin and looking forward to her last treatment of heavy chemo. She was coming through it with a smile, still surrounded by her family. That was perfect to see, but it was a side bonus. The perfect thing that I found out that someone did was that Jan had painted "The Curtains" for me.

"The Curtains" is a journal entry written somewhere back in February or March, but it is an analogy of going through the dark days of doubt during treatment that I have used when offering encouragement to those who are trying find their way through the darkness. The curtains start out dark and heavy and you have to part each one aside as you navigate through the cancer treatment experience. Finally, one day you realize you can see light through the curtains and then, you get to the last set of curtains and there is daylight in front of you. You can part the last set of curtains and step through them out into a new dawn, a new day. So sweet Ms Jan went to the CCNC support group art night and painted the curtains. Her painting shows the curtains in the forefront, a path just outside the window, a path that leads to a beautiful sunrise and glorious sky. Beautiful, beautiful. But without even knowing...she couldn't possibly have known....not only had Jan painted my curtains, but she had painted the path....the path that Maha had just talked to me about.....our path is also in the picture. How perfect is that?

One last footnote: After getting home yesterday from a three-day trip to Charleston with my friend Jennifer (also near-perfect), I took the painting of "The Curtains" out of my car and into the house. When I laid it face-down on the bed I noticed something for the first time. There, in the upper left corner on the back of the canvas Jan had painted an eye, a heart, and the letter "U". I love you. Perfect.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2