Janet called me last Thursday at 5:45 in the afternoon. I was sitting on a second-floor balcony, overlooking the waters of Banks Channel, drinking a delightful Pinot Grigio. I felt my reverie was not being interrupted for bad news, and I was right. A day earlier, the day after the waiting day, she had called to say my marker was up 30 points. Not the best of news, but nothing to get excited about. It was expected....I had been taken off chemo and put on an aromotase inhibitor...they expected a flare-up. Still, as always, the number haunted me through the rest of Wednesday and all Thursday. Thursday, at the beach with my daughter. Thursday, walking the 2-mile loop with her at Wrightsville, Thursday, eating Robert's chicken salad. Thursday, on the balcony, sipping wine and enjoying the view at 5:45. Thursday, when Janet told me that my circulating tumor count was 1. At one time, all I wanted, all we were praying for was something lower than 5. It had been 4 in March. It was 1. A number as stunning as the view I was seeing when she told me......when she had made a point to call me while she was working late.....suddenly, the haunting left with the warm early evening breeze. Suddenly, I could breathe again. And I have time again.
For you see, a circulating tumor count is used for prognosis....life expectancies.....a rough predictor of time. It is a tool that Maha will be using to see how long I can go without chemo,
but I view it as a validation of yet another miracle God has given us. One of so many. Another medical number to confirm the great faithfulness of the Lord. Janet said to take the number with a grain of salt, (always cautious), but I am taking it as a marvelous, wonderful sign.
So, for just a little while, my journal entries will not be as numerous. While my body gets its well-needed break, while nails mend and hair grows and stamina returns, my mind, heart, and soul will concentrate on other aspects of my wonderful beautiful life besides telling of the cancer wars as often as I have. I also need a break from the intimacies and intensity of sharing the battle. If I only check in once a week, don't think anything is wrong.....know that everything is totally, absolutely right.
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Th:16-18
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