Finally, someone has an idea!

"You have no idea". How many times have you said that. If you are like me: a chronic cancer patient, been in the fight for years, always being hunted and hounded by the enemy, then you know what I'm talking about. People will ask you...how do you live with it??? I write about it all the time....living with the knowing. I describe the constant drone of my diagnosis as suffocating,
being held under water and let up to breathe every so often, just enough, just for a moment in time, to keep going. I describe it as a daily battle and part of a war. I describe it as a path I have to walk....I have no choice....no matter how crooked and hilly the path gets. But someone wrote a description in Cure magazine that I saw on their website and they hit the nail on the head.
To paraphrase, the woman was talking about what it is like to live with a Stage IV diagnosis and she described it something like this: It's like having a radio constantly playing in your head that is distracting you from life. You can never turn it off. You can only learn to turn down the volume.

I am not a crier, but those words brought tears to my eyes. Because that woman knows. She knows what it is like to live my life. She does have an idea of what it's like to have the constant cloud of cancer as your companion. And she found a way to describe it perfectly.

And so the radio plays on. There are some days when the volume is way up and I can't make the noise fade into the background. But most days, I make it a point to turn the volume down and listen to the sounds of life and the living. I am sure that this woman, like me, longs for the days when the soundtrack of her life played only the music she wanted to hear. Now we have
that irritating type of music you hear in the elevator. The kind of low-playing garbage that makes you want to hurry up and get off on your floor. If only we could........

So now, you of the undiagnosed and healthy, have an idea what it's like.