This is what you get

The first time I saw her, she was having her blood drawn, having her hand held, holding back the tears. I knew her. Not her name, but how she felt, how her life had just been turned upside down. I knew her look of fear and disbelief. I knew she was in for a rough ride.

I wrote "After the Bad News", my last post, for people just like her. I had kept that written journal entry for years, sending it out once in an e-mail, not posting it here because it was so long. The day after I saw her, I started recording it in this blog. I knew she might need to read it. I knew she would have lots of people trying to say the right things to her, but not really knowing if they were...not really knowing what it is like.

I also know that for the next six months of her life, she will be constantly thinking about the enemy. The disease that has totally uprooted her life and shaken her to the core will be her constant, unwanted companion. She has some dark days ahead. She will lose her hair, she will lose some of her health, she will lose at least one breast. She will lose her appetite, she will lose the trust she took for granted that she had in her body, in the way her life was going. She will lose that feeling of "that only happens to other people."

So I knew that when I saw her come into the chemo room yesterday with her loved ones around her, that even though she had no idea of who I was, I had to let her know that I already knew her. So I pushed my little IV pole over there and sat down to chat. I know her way to well, and I have many things to tell her if she wants to hear them. I gave her this blog address, hoping she would find comfort and kinship and blessings. I hope she finds among all of what she is facing, not what she can lose with a cancer diagnosis, but what she can get when you get the diagnosis.

What you get is:
Knowing what you friends and family are made of
A true appreciation of time, precious time.
A tangible and true meaning for the word HOPE
A deeper understanding of the word LOVE
The chance to be cared for by some of the most intelligent, compassionate and caring people put on the planet.
And, if you let Him, a chance for God to be you strength, salvation, healer and Father.

What I have gotten are all the things and so much more. People will try to comfort her and cure her. God is there for the asking to heal her. What you get is life brought into focus. Clarity and appreciation......gratitude and understanding. For all the physical manifestations of cancer, there are so many spiritual lessons to be gained. She can have them all if she just seeks them out.

Every week if not every day, I get something from this whole experience. This past week I got to show another dog at Westminster Kennel Club. It is a tough thing to do. It is crowded, it is expensive, it is hard on your dog (not much grass in NYC), it is exhausting for a healthy person of any age. But it is exciting, it is a priviledge, and it is something I would never had done if I did not understand how precious, how important an experience like that is in my life. It would have been way easier to decide that I was in the middle of a chemo treatment and I might not feel well, or that I did not want to show in a wig, or drive 10 hours, or spend the money or...well whatever. Instead, I asked for a little longer break before my next treatment, had my wig styled, packed every pill I could think of that I might need and went. Because you never know.....whether you are fighting the cancer battle or not......you never know when you may get the opportunity for something like that again.

So what you get, my dear new soldier in the battle, what you get from all this is the chance to see snow falling in Times Square, eating at great restaurants with your handsome husband, being at the most exciting and prestigious dog show in the world, and coming back with a shiny medallion, a big beautiful ribbon, and so many pictures and memories. This time, after all this time, I got one of the times of my life........and I believe you will find your focus and have many times of your life, too.

Don't think about what you've lost or you're going to lose...look for all the things you will gain. If you can do this....you will be just fine.

"the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10