Happy Birthday to Me

This week marks a couple of milestones for me. Six years ago today, after three days of high-dose radiation and three nights in the hospital, I received my autologous stem-cell transplant.
When those clean little stem-cells were dripping back into my bloodstream, the nurse told me this was my second birthday. This coming Saturday the 15th of December 2007 will be my real birthday and I will be 52.

Somewhere between hoping for a cure and praying for healing, I have managed to be blessed with a wonderful life for the past 6 1/2 years. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been all a bed of roses. There have been times when I just wanted it to all end because I was so tired of the stress, worry, sickness, hurt, and disappointments. I was tired of feeling 92 instead of 52.

But then, as now, God always found a way, a person, an event, a turn-around of some kind, to teach me a lesson, enrich my life, inspire deeper and greater love for family and friends, give me hope and keep me going. Today, I read a devotion that talks about keeping your eyes on the answer. The scripture that the devotions quotes is from Genesis 22:4 and 5 where Abraham
is looking up to the place where he will willingly sacrifice his son, Isaac, as God has asked.
Abraham, tells his servants to wait at the base of the mountain while "...I and the boy will go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you." (ital. mine) Abraham has no doubt that no matter what is to happen on the sacrificial site, he and his son will both be coming back. God had made a promise to Abraham, and he knew God would keep that promise.

So whether my body feels "normal" and painless, or I am sick or I am tired and hurting, I have to keep my eyes focused on God's healing promises at work in me. When, over the past almost seven years, we have consulted, computed, diagnosed, scanned, infused, ingested, and experimented: underlying any and all battleplans have been the promises. To have come so far
and still be fighting a continual, slow progression of disease with all our strengths and resources, I could easily have given up on the ability of my medical team to try and find another way to keep me going. I could have easily said "enough", particularly after the stem-cell transplant did not prevent the disease from finding its way back into my bones, lungs, and life. But the amazing thing is, no one else...not one doctor, one nurse, one family member or friend or co-worker....NO ONE as ever told me they thought it was enough. God has surrounded me with warriors that when I am at my weakest, they are at their best. No matter how grim and how discouraging some days have been, we are all standing firm on the promises that God has made to me. And whether they know it or believe it, God constantly performs in my life.

So, when I go about this week, Christmas shopping, finishing up the decorations, sending out cards and going out to dinner on Saturday night, it is all "Happy Birthday to Me". Happy birthday to me from all the ones who have been living my life with me to the fullest. I am so very, very grateful to all of you. God knew what He was doing when He put you in my life, my circumstances and I can't thank Him enough. I want you to all know that you help me every day to keep my eyes on the Answer...Jesus and the Word...filled with the promise and hope of many more birthdays to come and life everlasting. Amen