Ambush

It was truly an ambush. There it sat in the bottom of my overnight bag. How long had it been there, waiting for me to look down and discover it in hiding? How long had I not even thought about it, much less, needed it. But there it was, still packed from a trip I must have taken many months before.

How could such a small and simple object send me into an instant and overwhelming crying jag?
After all I had been through and was about to face, what was it about this one thing that brought such sadness to me, crumbling my hard rock wall of resolve, resistance, faith, and belief? Such a small and simple object.

Those of you who have been where I was at this time of ambush will understand. After months of staying strong, enduring surgery, pain, chemo, worry and fear. After putting on my best face, maintaining that all-important positive attitude and faith in my loving and wonderful God, it took a simple curling iron in the bottom of my luggage to bring me to my knees. It was the end of October and I had not had any reason to use a curling iron since the end of June. I would not need a curling iron for many more months to come. But at that moment of ambush, I missed
the mere need to have to curl my hair, wash my hair, dry my hair......have hair. I wanted to
use gel and mousse and fuss about my bangs. I longed for the smell of shampoo and hairspray.
After months of saying "it's only hair, and it will grow back", it became a lot more than that. It was my beautiful, thick and enviable hair and I wanted it back.

So I had my cry, left the curling iron in my overnight bag, and got on with the battle. I did use that curling iron again. I still have it, although I have not always had enough hair to use it over these past years. It is still a reminder that sometimes the simple little things can trigger the biggest responses. Then you cry, leave it where it is, and get on with life.

I have to believe that everyone who fights this disease has had their own ambush. The trick is how we react to this unplanned attack. We cannot let an ambush put us under or set us back. We certainly cannot let an ambush defeat us. We must pick ourselves up off the floor of despair and put our faith in God's Word which is always greater than any circumstances, symptoms, or ambush. There is always a verse, a scripture or a story in the Book to pull you up and out of the pit. Just remember to "be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me." Acts 27:25