Time to Bloom

Hey guys,
Sorry for the lack of communication. There has just been too much life going on lately. Good and bad, happy and afraid, proud and deflated, the last two weeks have run the gamut. Oh and then there's tax day.

When I get a call on Friday afternoon and it's Maha, not Janet, it is never a good sign. But she knows that not knowing over the weekend is far worse than hearing that you latest round of chemo....the chemo that has put you in the bed, taken your hair, made your eyes permanent water spouts, taken a fingernail and a toe nail, taken away days of you life because you couldn't get out of bed...THAT chemo...has ceased to do its job and the numbers are on the rise again.
As disappointing as that may seem to most, in a way I was relieved. Relieved to not have to wonder if stopping Taxotere to try the Estrogen manipulation therapy was the right thing. It now became the ONLY thing. Relieved to know that I had a chance to try to help my body recover in any way it could, while I am off chemotherapy. Relieved, for just a while, to have permission to give up the struggle to past 3 months have presented and focus on something new
and maybe tremendously beneficial. Relieved to be able to fight in another way other than just getting through the side effects, being stuck and sick and tired.

Now I am taking three pills a day. Now I will get one IV a month. No we pray harder than ever, because we are again being pioneers in this world of chronic advanced breast cancer. Now is the time of spring, the resurrection, new growth, birthdays, graduations, sunshine on my face, time to bloom.

I wanted to start the pills yesterday, on Easter and also my husband's birthday, but he asked me to wait until today. He wanted a great day with no thought of what we were getting ready to dive into. He wanted to keep his day and Christ's day and a day spent with our daughter and new boyfriend separate from "Day 1" of Estrodial.

So day 1 is today. I am ready. I am hopeful. I am absolutely firm in my trust of the Lord and the plans He has for me, as well as the medical plan that Maha has laid before me. Even so, I ask all of you, as always, pray......without ceasing. Lift me up and keep me strong, my friends. You always have.

"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through the generations.: Psalm 89:1