It's gonna rain

In all my years of writing in journals and now blogging, I have recorded my relationships with so many people. I have talked about all my relatives. My ever-present and strong husband and beautiful daughter. You all know I lost my Dad in '07...the "bad " year. I have talked about my friends, the faithful ones who share in my ups and downs in all kinds of different ways. I have mentioned my wonderful boss and my church members who pray every day for me. You know about my show dogs and my dog people. I have written about them all. But, looking back through almost eight years of writing, it is easy to see that I have written the most about my medical team and my fellow soldiers in the battle against cancer. To me, the entries I love the best, love to re-read and remember why I wrote what I wrote, are the entries about my doctor,
my nurse practitioner, and my chemo nurses.

I have written about them so many times...for them, for me, and for the people out there who
somehow find their way to this obscure little blogspot. I have always wanted everyone to know the truth about what goes on in those offices on Asheville Avenue. I want everyone to know that I believe without my faith, family and them...my girls....that I would not be sitting here on a chilly September morning in 2008, getting ready to plan for Parent's Weekend at NCSU during my daughter's senior year of college.

I have been so blessed to be hand-picked by God to be cared for by everyone at CCNC Cary.
And, truthfully, I have for over a year, thought occasionally...when things looked dark... about the words I would write to each of them if at anytime we figured out that the fight was over. Those thoughts and words are tucked away in a secret place in my heart, and after yesterday, I got a slight twinkle....a sublte hint that I might not have to use those words for a long, long time....maybe never. Because my friends, it's gonna rain.

After my meeting with Maha yesterday, after learning my blood counts were, for the first time in regular chemo treatments, too low to get a second dose right now, we were once again discussing how far we'd come in breast cancer detection, prevention, and treatment.
She threw out one last comment with a twinkle in her eye, that I should see what's coming down the pike. Meaning, new developments are on the way....something is out there to make her hopeful...to get her excited, and I now believe I will get to see it.

I turned back to her and recalled a line from the show "Stand Up for Cancer" where a research doctor was talking about their advancements and how close they were to cracking the impossible code that will stop this awful, insidious disease. He gave the analogy that they (researchers) felt like it feels just before a rainfall, where you can feel it in the wind, smell it in the air, almost taste it before the downpour starts. And then he said, "Well, guess what? It's gonna rain." It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

So, I think back on this year...2008...where in its beginning I was fighting for time with Ixempra, my family made the declaration and then the same thing came from Maha....that this was the year. The year of blessings and love and miracles. Even if it would all end tomorrow, it would still be true. It has been one heck of a year so far. But perhaps, we haven't seen the best of it. Perhaps, my friends, its gonna rain any day now and by Dec.31 2008 it will be pouring.

"Test me in this", say the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." Mal. 3:10