About the husband......

My sister-in-law called me yesterday. The article for Today's Charlotte Woman is on it's way to the printer. "It's wonderful," she said. "There's just one thing that bothers me. They never mentioned your husband."

What?? Oh well. It is so like him to once again be a fixture in the background of my crazy cancer life. When I told Raul this, as always, it was not important to him. What remains important to him is that I continue to do well, feel well, feel purposeful, stay positive and live life.

Amazing, isn't it? A man, a very handsome man, who has weathered the storm with me for eight years. Never once wanting to step away. Never once has he wanted to give up. He has never lashed out, cried out, or let me sink into the depths of darkness of my disease. My husband is a little bit of God on earth. Put here to be a rock for me to stand on and that is no metaphor. He is my physical proof of God's solid ground on which I stand.

I often worry about the toll that being a silent and strong caretaker must take on him. He always thinks of me, my comfort, my condition. "How are you feeling?", and "Can I get you anything?" are two questions posed to me at least once every day. He knows where to put the heating pad, how to stop the chills, what pills to bring, what crackers taste the best, and what I look like right before I'm about to sink from over-doing it. He insists on getting me out of the house when I'm down and taking me on trips even when I sleep the whole way in the back seat.
He is adamant that I live the life I love....he has never allowed me to be a victim, even when I wanted to. He has taken every phone call about test results with poise and determination,
optimism and calm and reason.

Is he so perfect? No. But he is the perfect man for me in how I have dealt with living with the
beast that invaded our home almost eight years ago. And even though I was never a big believer in Cinderella, my prince, my knight in shining armor, showed up at my bedside on May 14th, 2001 when "cancer" was being whispered in my ear. I never knew the depths of the man I had lived with for 17 years prior to that day, but I certainly do now.

This past Tuesday, the pastor of the Food Bank where I volunteer some of my time asked me
how Raul was doing. "Oh, he's fine." I answered as always. But it really got me thinking. Is he really??? I should probably find out when he gets back home tonight. He has been away all week, in Scottsdale, Arizona. He is at a conference filled with great fun and food and decadence and natural Arizona beauty. Being pampered at a five-star resort...no one to look after but himself. He so deserves to be there. And when he walks through the door this afternoon, I will ask first..."How do you feel?" and "Can I get you anything?".

I will make sure that he is fine, really fine and not just saying so. You see, no matter what I have written here and how many people I have credited for my continued victories in this battle, next to God, he is the one person I am certain I could not have fought this war without. There are great physicians, nurses and caregivers all over the country, but there is only one Raul
and I am so, so grateful he lays his head on the pillow beside mine every night. I am certainly blessed to have a husband strong enough to stand behind me...always...even when no one can see that it is he who is holding me up.

"How are you?", he asked. "I'm fine", I replied. "Any fool could see that," he answered.

First line from first date with Raul. 5-4-82. I was hooked.