Even Though

"If only we could inject her with all of what we know," I said to the patient outside the bathroom door last Thursday. He and I...veterans of a long road. Both of us stem-cell transplantees, both of us in it for the long road. Both of us fearless fighters in the battle....walking, talking proof of life still well lived, even though.

Even though he and I had gotten devastating news on numerous occasions. Even though we had been treated hundreds of times between us. Even though our lives had been forever altered by the dark and creeping monster. Even though....here we were, standing in the hallway. Worried about another.

I could not possibly make her understand that life will still be lived even though on that day last Thursday she did not believe, could not believe that she would ever feel better, look better, think better than she did at that moment. So sick, so much pain, so much fear, so despondent.

"Fight, fight , fight!", I wanted to shout. I wanted to see her buck-up, get my words, pick up the sword, get mad, get determined and get going. If only we could inject her with the knowledge....

That even though she is so afraid, the fear will lessen.
Even though she hurts, the pain will subside.
Even though she is so weak, her body will recover.
Even though she is sick, a pill will stop that and that feeling will go away after treatment.
Even though she is in such despair, there is hope...of all kinds...waiting for her.
Even though the news is terrible, the future not so rosy, the sun will rise again tomorrow and she can rejoice in every day she is given....for that is all any of us are promised...today, our one day to live as best we can.
And even though she feels alone and in a dark place, there are people like him and me.... one patient hooked up to his IV, one patient volunteering, who know what it is like to come from such a place, to live through such despair and to live life fully.... even though.

I hope with all my heart she begins to fight, dives into the battle, hangs on tooth and nail for every improvement, chance, and possibility, even though she is so weak she can barely stand. I hope she knows that her fight is best fought in her spirit, her soul....the places where cancer cannot touch. Most of all I hope that she knows that God can help her with all of it, any of it, even though, no, no, particularly because she has been told the bad,bad news.

"Therefore take unto you the whole amour of God, that you may be able to withstand the days of evil, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6:13